How Gay Cruising / Cottaging Works

Warning!

Never, under any circumstances, expose an unwilling person or minors to your cruising activities or attempts. It’s immoral, obviously illegal, makes them uncomfortable, and gives cruising/cruisers an even worse reputation.

How do I show that I’m cruising/into someone?

Depending on the location you might need to be more or less obvious with your signals to avoid causing trouble with uninterested/unaware guys.

If you’re in a dedicated cruising spot (adult bookstore, sauna, dedicated bar/club) then you can be quite forward because it’s basically guaranteed that other guys there are also looking to cruise:

• Make eye contact, hold it, then subtly nod/smile.
• Gesture/grab/rub your crotch while holding eye contact or looking at their crotch.
• Move somewhere private, continuing to keep eye contact. Look back if you have to walk away.

If they’ve returned any of your signals and/or they follow you to the private spot then you’re good to go. Once you’re wherever you were planning to go you can be quite confident that they’re looking for the same thing as you. It’s up to you whether you want to initiate and get naked/exposed first or if you wait for them – a lot of people recommend always waiting for them to initiate as to avoid trouble with ‘undercover’ police, but if everyone thought the same way then nobody would get any action.

If you’re in a lesser known cruising spot (public bathroom, locker room, outdoors etc.) then you can follow the same instructions but much more slowly and carefully. While you could go from eye contact to sex within seconds in a sauna or club it will probably take several minutes for either party to be certain of intentions at other locations.

How can I tell if someone is cruising/into me?

Basically the reverse of how you would show that you’re cruising/into another guy. Look for their signs first if you’re not sure of their intentions, but be sure to reciprocate at an early stage so that they don’t lose faith and leave before you’re able to engage with them.

In addition to the specific signs mentioned above you can also generally tell when someone is looking for action. They’ll often be sitting down somewhere quite unusual, standing still looking at everyone and often checking them out, or wandering around but not actually leaving the general area. If you see someone then it’s probably worth giving out signals of your own.

Beginners Tips

Understall

Not all bathrooms are suited for understall activities. Particularly in Europe the cubicles tend to have dividing walls much closer to the ground so it would be difficult to get anything underneath. But the signs can still be used to signal to someone and then lead to you getting into a cubicle together. Some guys will quietly play with their cock themselves so you may be able to hear the tell-tale sounds, see a shadow, or peek through any cracks when they enter.

Probably one of the most well-known signs of cruising is the foot tap. A slow & deliberate tap of the foot near the dividing wall of the stall/cubicle – if it’s returned a few times then you can be pretty sure the other guy is looking for the same thing as you. The next step is to put your hand or cock underneath (depending on if you want to give/receive) and the rest should be self-explanatory.

Urinals

Can be as simple as standing at the urinal for a longer period of time than is reasonable or natural, being semi/erect will help. If you notice anyone else also spending a lot of time at a urinal then have a few subtle glances over, check out their dick if safe to do so, make eye contact if they seem to reciprocate anything. Then someone has to make the first move and either openly masturbate or reach out towards them if they’re close enough.

Locker Rooms

Leaving the shower door / cutrain half open & see who look’s in. Just clean your junk and see if any eye contact is made, If the other guy is interested they will play / clean their junk aswell, eventually you’ll both will get semi’s. you can nod them to come over if you know he is 100% cruising.

Adult Bookstores

Bookstores can be notoriously seedy for cruising so it’s best to cruise the ‘normal way’, then find an empty booth and leave the door unlocked.

Gloryholes

Once you’re in the booth, lock the door, put some money in the video machine (if you don’t the clerk will yell at you), take out your cock and start jerking. If you want to get sucked, wait for the guy on the other side of the hole to put his finger through, then slide your cock through and enjoy. Good etiquette would be to tap on the wall before you cum so that the other guy is aware.

If you just want to be sucked then you should be aware that the other guy might suck you for a few minutes and then, when you’re nice and hard, turn around and slide you into his ass (often bare). If you’re not up for that then be prepared and just pull out when he tries to initiate it.

If you want to suck or get fucked, just do the opposite – wait until a guy comes into the other booth and gets out his dick, then slide your finger through the hole. If he’s interested, he’ll feed you his cock; if not, you should bail and find another booth.

Don’t cruise in any part of the gym where people are working out, because people want to finish their workouts first. Cruise in the locker room areas only – shower, sauna, steam room etc.

It all starts with nonverbal communication. Make eye contact. Nod. A little knowing smirk is fine; a big shit-eating grin is not. You have to expose yourself, but not in an obvious way. There are some dudes who just walk around naked at the gym, but they’re usually not cruising. Keeping yourself partially covered offers some plausible deniability. My technique is to carry two towels: one to sit on, and one to drape across my lap. Every now and then I spread my legs, pick up the lap towel, and use it to dry my hair, wipe away sweat, towel off my neck, etc. and also expose my crotch. Then look at the other guy to see if he’s looking. If he is, great, time for the next stage: touching yourself.

When you touch yourself, you also have to be discreet. You can’t just reach down and jerk yourself off, you have to briefly “adjust” yourself for just a moment and then knock it off. You can scratch your balls, you can wipe sweat from your nipples, you can “massage” your inner thighs. The whole time you’re going to see if the other guy is watching you, and see if he’s doing the same thing. At this point you’ve sent all the right signals. If the other guy is an experienced cruiser, he may make an obvious move, which could include reaching out to grab your crotch, caressing your ass, pinching your nipples, turning around and bending over, and so on. But if the other guy is also nervous or inexperienced, then it’s up to you to move things forward.